Apparently, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is pretty good at unlocking memories for me. The first several times I went through that with my therapist, I wasn’t able to actually finish processing anything. My unfiltered thoughts are not exactly my favorite thing, and I would leave exhausted. But it’s pretty cool the way it got my brain working.
At some point after coming home, I would spend some time alone with my thoughts and my journal. And my mind would just open up. Buried feelings would come to the surface. Pieces of memories I had forgotten. Digging out the dirt in an effort to clean it all out. Both the good and the bad, my head trying to fit everything together. It was equally very frustrating, and very helpful.